Author Archives: shanedurban

About shanedurban

Cool dude who likes animals, wearing hats, surfing the web, college baseball, and when the fish just aren't biting.

Ten Hottest Cartoon Characters

Here are the ten hottest cartoon characters that I know of.   There are no super-heroes  on this list, unless you count Mrs. Incredible — but she’s just a great mom and wife really.   The rankings were tough and may be controversial, but having said that, they are in the order in which they belong.  Let’s get started shall we?

1.  Mrs. Incredible

Mrs. Incredible

Aside from being a great mother and wife she also has it going on in a big way, both upstairs and downstairs.  I couldn’t find a great picture of her though, and those who have never seen the movie, or movies — there may be two — may think that she is just alright, but trust in me.

2.  Amy Wong

Guh?

Amy knows the score, even if if we don’t.  She is a student at Mars University and a member of the Kappa Kappa Wong Sorority.  Hot and rich sorority girl?  Yes please 4ake four!

3.  Quinn Morgendorfer

Quinniaska

Remember?  From the show Daria.  Well if you do remember then good for you.  When I was a young pup I always found Quinn terribly attractive.  Finally I have an 5utlet for my feelings!

4.  Jane Jetson

Can you say space sexy?  Say it!  Jane would hardly be out of place at the number one spot but I felt that she would be more comfortable with some breathing room.  The pressure of that number one spot can get pretty intense.  Judy Jetson should be here to, but I’m not really sure of her age and I wouldn’t want to get in any hot water.

5.  Nala

The Circle of Life

Yea Nala!  My brother made me put her on the list.  You didn’t hear it from me, but I think he’s got a thing for cats.

6.  Nancy Hicks-Gribble

Hey Sug!

Nancy is a sexy, plain and simple.

7.  Sal Fasano

Yea Sal! Can't wait for the season to start!

Wait, he’s not a cartoon character.

8.  Lurleen Lumpkin

Wow. There's not a man alive who wouldn't be turned on by that... anyway good night.

Lurleen has two things going for her, she’s a hot country singer, and Beverly D’Angelo does her voice.  Git it!

9.  Jasmine

Hey, I'm half Lebanese

She never really did it for me, but I can’t deny her beauty.

10.  Daphne

I think even Scrappy hit it

Yea she’s alright, a bit too rigid for me.  Still hot though.

11.  Gadget

Rescue Rangers

For A mouse she’s got style.  I think Chip was puttin’ the blocks to her, or was it Dale?  All I know is that it wasn’t Monterey Jack.

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Ginola!!!

A few crackers to say the least

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Hottest Women in American Politics

When I asked SMC if I could contribute yet another list of the hottest women in a certain category they said sure, can you do it next week?  I said I’m busy next week, they said how about the week after?   I said the week after is worse than next week.  Finally we agreed on a good time for both of us — true story.  Well here it is, the hottest women in American politics.  And, be warned that the phrase “in politics” has been very liberally applied cause there sure are a lot of dogs out there running this country.

1 — Jenny Sanford

Work it Jenny

Now I know what your gonna say.  Oi, Shane, get it together, Jenny’s not a politician.  To that I say two things, one, remember the liberal application of the term “in politics” — so you’re not getting me on that, and two, that you obviously have missed South Carolina political insiders speculating that she could make a run in South Carolina.  Either way she is damn sexy, smart, independently wealthy, lives in South Carolina, and probably has about 3 golden retrievers.  I say it’s a good thing she ditched “God Boy” Mark Sanford.

2 — Sarah Palin

Doin it — the only way she knows how
Yep, had to do it.  Even though I think that she isn’t fit work at at Oil n’ Go, let alone govern a state or country, she has got a shape to her and I certainly wouldn’t kick her out of bed, as long as she doesn’t open her mouth — not because of what she would say but because of that hideous accent of hers, uughhh!  I also have to confess to being a pretty big Todd Palin fan.  He just seems like a cool guy who probably fishes pretty hard in the warmer months.  Oh, and she looks like Peggy Hill, which is funny.

3 & 4 — Michelle Obama and Jill Biden

Smilin

The first lady and the whatever the Vice President’s wife is called are pretty sexy.  Jill is a nice blonde who likes to smile a lot and Michelle is a stylish women who I can honestly say that I  would not be man enough to handle.  She is big and in charge and I guess Barry handles her alright, but I can’t say for sure causes they don’t really talk publicly about there sex life, at least in the publications I read.  Jill, on the other hand, I reckon I could handle, but as we say in Vermont — hard sayin, not knowin, but ya gotta wonder.  I do believe there will never be time when we have such babes in the WH so let’s all enjoy it.

5 — Jennifer Granholm

Yep

Eh, I guess.  At this point who really cares.  Granholm is alright, but I found a particularly flattering picture of her, one where she has longer hair and had not yet become Jennifer Manholm (credit my older brother with that one).  She is a Canuck, so, that’s alright.  This list seemed like a good idea before I realized that there really aren’t too many hot politicians that I could find.  Of course there are probably some bombshell mayors in small towns across the nation but how I am supposed to find them, huh?  Some sort of database with a picture of every female mayor and state senator in it?  Well I don’t have the resources, maybe in some news organization they have things like that, but that’s none of my business.   I made my decision to freelance and I’m gonna live with it.

6 —  Caroline Kennedy

Party at the compound

She looks pretty old and not sexy in this picture but she’s alright.  She’s a Kennedy, that’s kind of sexy, what with all those parties at the Compound in Hyannis and such.   There was a time when she would have been number one on the list (maybe a year ago) but I have changed.  I still like her, but she no longer blows me away.

7 —  Michelle Bachman

Psycho hose beast

Zach made me put her on the list, I guess he’s got a thing for her.  She is a psycho hose beast.  I would wager that even her father wouldn’t dispute that.  She’s not bad looking, though I thought she was hotter than she actually is.  Believe it or not this is the best picture I could find of her.  She probably appeals to the kind of guy that find Ann Coulter attractive.  Ugghhh!!!

**Yulia Tymoshenko**

Damn!!

Um, yes please, take two.  Yulia knows the score even if the Ukraine doesn’t.  Could you imagine if our Prime Minister looked like this?  Damn!!!!  I don’t think she is gonna be el presidente of Ukraine but still, she knows how to work it — Fact.   Unfortunately, because of a certain rule, Yulia can’t be on our list (you know the one that says you must be in American politics.  I know I’m as angry as anyone) but I still wanted to recognize her for her outstanding work in the field of being sexy.

Ones that didn’t make the list as I could not in good conscience put them on,

– Jan Brewer

– Bev Perdue

– Christine Gregoire

– Maria Cantwell

– Blanche Licoln

– Gretchen Whitmer

I would also like to apologize for my lack of enthusiasm regarding these women and there beauty (save Jenny).  I just couldn’t fake it, and for that I apologize.  They can’t all be Yulia.  Also, I am very aware that I must have missed some hotties that work for Uncle Sam but maybe later we can work together to get this list right.

-Shanedurban

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The 10 Greatest Love Songs On My iPod

I have compiled the 10 greatest love songs on my iPod for all to enjoy during the holidays.

miller

 

1.  Fairytale of New York — Shane Macgowan

 

Aruably the greatest song ever written.  If you’re American, chances are pretty good that you’ve never heard it, but if you’re British, I reckon you hear it every Christmas.  RIP — Kirsty MaCcoll (she was tragically run over by a boat).

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff3aoSyYOVs

 

2There Is A Light That Never Goes Out — The Smiths

 

A classic about the pain of loving someone.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INgXzChwipY

 

 3.   Keep Me In Your Heart For Awhile  — Warren Zevon

 

In my opinion it took terminal cancer for Warren Zevon to write a decent song.  Alright, “Splendid Isolation” and “Werewolves of London” were good, but other than them, I think he lived on reputation alone.  This particular song he wrote as he was dying  of cancer and I do believe it could make a stone cry.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7NQjLZvw44&feature=related

 

4.  Baby Blue Sedan — Modest Mouse

 

What can I say, Isaac Brock is a genius. 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_31sGp72Cc

 

5.  Cry No More — Buju Banton

I sure hope that Mrs. Banton appreciated this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9m8kl3xm1E

 6.  No Children — The Mountain Goats

 A true classic about the trials and tribulations of relationships.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf79oyWWtkQ

 

 

7.  Grievances — Daniel Johnston

 

 A crazy man who wrote a few good songs, mostly shitty, but a few good ones.  This is the best, and it’s good, real good.

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK6uCv3v1lQ

 

8.  Only You — Yazoo

 

 Not much to say really, a great song, made known to me by a great show, The Office Christmas Special.  

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LACaaychqJI

9.  Christmas Car From a Hooker In Minneapolis — Tom Waits

 

 And who said hookers don’t have feeling?

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktCocv-bBDg

 

 10.  Making Days Longer — RJD2

  Give RJ some credit, he can make sampled beats almost like Shadow (I say

almost because nobody can touch DJ Shadow) and he can also write and sing.

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KfyxZF1b5U

 

 Had They Been On My iPod

 

Haunted — Sinead O’Connor — Written by Shane Macgowan, so you know it’s good, and Sinead isn’t so bad either

 

Gotta Go My Own Way — High School Musical II —Good song, really. 

 

The Marriage — Billy Bragg — Look it up

 

 

 

 

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The 10 Hottest Women Over 60

Gentlemen, start your engines!

1.  Sally Field

sally

When SMC asked me to do this piece, I said, “I think Sally Field will be number one”.  Sure enough, she made it, and coming in at a controversial number 1, at 62 years of age, is Sally Field.  I DOUBT my FIRE for her will be extinguished any time soon.

 
2.  Olivia Newton-John

olivia

 At number two, we have the lovely Olivia Newton-John, who, at the age of 60, still looks ready to get physical, if you know what I mean. 

 

3.  Candice Bergen

candice

I never watched Murphy Brown with any regularity, but one thing is for sure: Candice Bergen still knows how to work it.  At 62 she’s making moves and getting it done her way.

 

 4.  Catherine Deneuve

catherine

Catherine Deneuve was almost left off of the list and that would have been tragic, but also a great injustice to such a fine French actress.  Besides, had she been left off we probably would have gotten an indignant email from the Gerard Depardieu estate demanding her inclusion.

 

5.  Charlotte Rampling

charlotte 

One night, I was watching Spy Game, a riveting tale of international intrigue, when an older woman appeared on screen.  I said, “Damn, she’s pretty hot for almost 60”.  It was Charlotte Rampling, and at 62, the rest is history.

6.  Susan Sarandon

susan2

Susan Sarandon seems older than 62, but she’s not.  Nevertheless she still has it going on, but not like she used to, like in Bull Durham for example.   

7.  Tina Turner

 

tina1

At 69, Tina Turner really looks good.  I know absolutely nothing about her or her career, except for, “What’s Love Got To Do With It”, so we’ll leave it at, “she’s pretty hot for 69 years-old.”

 8.  Goldie Hawn

goldie

More like Oldie Hawn.  Goldie Hawn has a hot daughter, Kate Hudson, and I’m not going to lie, that really helped her secure a spot on this list.  Interestingly enough, I’m sure all of these women have hot daughters.

 

9.  Barbara Hershey

barbara

I’ve never found Barbara Hershey to be all that attractive, but she is in the greatest sports movie ever made, co-starring with the greatest actor to ever live.  We are of course referring to Hoosiers and to Gene Hackman.   Nevertheless, Hershey looks pretty good at 60, so keep up the good work.   And yes, that is the largest picture I could find of a mature looking Barbara.

 

10.  Twiggy

twiggy

Twiggy would have been number 1, but she’s only 59, so I made her number 10.  She hasn’t changed a bit since her role in Club Paradise, except that she’s aged about 30 years.  Nevertheless, she still gets my motor running and will move up to first the day she turns 60.

 

Dishonorable Mentions

  • Diane Keaton — When I began, I thought she was a lock, not the case.  It’s permanent fright night at the Keaton house.
  • Suzanne Summers — Ugghhh! 

Locks

  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus
  • Helen Hunt
  • Kathleen Turner
  • Linda Kozlowski
  • Ashley Olsen

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