When I asked SMC if I could contribute yet another list of the hottest women in a certain category they said sure, can you do it next week? I said I’m busy next week, they said how about the week after? I said the week after is worse than next week. Finally we agreed on a good time for both of us — true story. Well here it is, the hottest women in American politics. And, be warned that the phrase “in politics” has been very liberally applied cause there sure are a lot of dogs out there running this country.
1 — Jenny Sanford
Now I know what your gonna say. Oi, Shane, get it together, Jenny’s not a politician. To that I say two things, one, remember the liberal application of the term “in politics” — so you’re not getting me on that, and two, that you obviously have missed South Carolina political insiders speculating that she could make a run in South Carolina. Either way she is damn sexy, smart, independently wealthy, lives in South Carolina, and probably has about 3 golden retrievers. I say it’s a good thing she ditched “God Boy” Mark Sanford.
2 — Sarah Palin
- Doin it — the only way she knows how
3 & 4 — Michelle Obama and Jill Biden
The first lady and the whatever the Vice President’s wife is called are pretty sexy. Jill is a nice blonde who likes to smile a lot and Michelle is a stylish women who I can honestly say that I would not be man enough to handle. She is big and in charge and I guess Barry handles her alright, but I can’t say for sure causes they don’t really talk publicly about there sex life, at least in the publications I read. Jill, on the other hand, I reckon I could handle, but as we say in Vermont — hard sayin, not knowin, but ya gotta wonder. I do believe there will never be time when we have such babes in the WH so let’s all enjoy it.
5 — Jennifer Granholm
Eh, I guess. At this point who really cares. Granholm is alright, but I found a particularly flattering picture of her, one where she has longer hair and had not yet become Jennifer Manholm (credit my older brother with that one). She is a Canuck, so, that’s alright. This list seemed like a good idea before I realized that there really aren’t too many hot politicians that I could find. Of course there are probably some bombshell mayors in small towns across the nation but how I am supposed to find them, huh? Some sort of database with a picture of every female mayor and state senator in it? Well I don’t have the resources, maybe in some news organization they have things like that, but that’s none of my business. I made my decision to freelance and I’m gonna live with it.
6 — Caroline Kennedy
She looks pretty old and not sexy in this picture but she’s alright. She’s a Kennedy, that’s kind of sexy, what with all those parties at the Compound in Hyannis and such. There was a time when she would have been number one on the list (maybe a year ago) but I have changed. I still like her, but she no longer blows me away.
7 — Michelle Bachman
Zach made me put her on the list, I guess he’s got a thing for her. She is a psycho hose beast. I would wager that even her father wouldn’t dispute that. She’s not bad looking, though I thought she was hotter than she actually is. Believe it or not this is the best picture I could find of her. She probably appeals to the kind of guy that find Ann Coulter attractive. Ugghhh!!!
Um, yes please, take two. Yulia knows the score even if the Ukraine doesn’t. Could you imagine if our Prime Minister looked like this? Damn!!!! I don’t think she is gonna be el presidente of Ukraine but still, she knows how to work it — Fact. Unfortunately, because of a certain rule, Yulia can’t be on our list (you know the one that says you must be in American politics. I know I’m as angry as anyone) but I still wanted to recognize her for her outstanding work in the field of being sexy.
Ones that didn’t make the list as I could not in good conscience put them on,
– Jan Brewer
– Bev Perdue
– Christine Gregoire
– Maria Cantwell
– Blanche Licoln
– Gretchen Whitmer
I would also like to apologize for my lack of enthusiasm regarding these women and there beauty (save Jenny). I just couldn’t fake it, and for that I apologize. They can’t all be Yulia. Also, I am very aware that I must have missed some hotties that work for Uncle Sam but maybe later we can work together to get this list right.