An Apology to Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros For Breaking Their Tambourine

Dear Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros,

By way of introduction my name is Zach and I was at the free concert you gave at the Hammer Museum last night.  It was truly a cracking show.  Me and my friends had a wonderful time and were quite thrilled with the energy and fun you guys managed to exude from the stage.  Anytime you can get kids in LA dancing and/or making any kind of noise at a concert, you know you are doing something right.

Which is all well and good, but it has little to do with why I write you today.  You see, during that last song there you invited everyone on stage to come dance and hang out, an offer I of course took you up on.  As I was crawling up on the stage with the rest of the unwashed masses, I stumbled across a tambourine that was lying stage right, where the foppish, curly haired chap with the trumpet had been all night.  Not wanting it to get trampled and seeing a rare opportunity to participate in the LA music scene, I picked the bastard up and began banging it in rhythm with your song as best I could (that fucker must’ve weighed 10 pounds, which made it more difficult to keep the beat than it might otherwise have been).  It was a heady few minutes there; I was really getting in the groove.

Anyway, the song ended and it was time to go.  I went to put the tambourine back more or less where I found it and noticed a large whole through the skin of it.  “Jesus,” I thought. “I couldn’t have done that, I could barely swing the thing, let alone hit it hard enough to puncture it.  It must’ve gotten trampled by some other member of this staggering rabble before I picked it up.”  So I put the thing back on an amp and got the hell out of there.  I was sure that I was on film banging the thing, and the last thing I needed that Thursday night was to be set upon by a dozen pissed off gypsy troubadours for breaking a fucking tambourine.  I hope you understand this line of thinking.

At any rate, I just wanted to say sorry about the tambourine, especially since you guys put on such an outstanding show.  I feel like you let me in the house and I shit on the rug.  I know you guys are headed out on tour now, but hopefully it won’t prove to expensive/inconvenient to repair.  As repentance I purchased your album off iTunes, and will aggressively promote your outfit to anyone to whom I can.  Best of luck on the tour, and again, sorry if I broke your tambourine.

Sincerely, Zach

PS- Turn the mic up on the females.

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