In its shameless bid to indefinitely prolong its suckling at the fat, supple teat of the American taxpayer, the Chrysler corporation has announced it will discontinue its PT Cruiser model after this year. This, in a bid to return to profitability. Well it’s tempting to make a joke here… I guess they are to be commended for killing off that monstrosity, however belatedly. It can’t hurt their fortunes, and I will sleep easier each night knowing the money the government takes from me isn’t going towards procuring more body panels or headlight lenses in an effort to keep churning out that monstrosity. I don’t know why, but I felt to compelled to write a little poetry to mark the Cruiser’s demise. -P McGraw
Ode to the PT Cruiser
Times are tough and Chrysler a serious loser.
In hopes of more tax money they’re killing the PT Cruiser.
Times are dire, Chrysler headed into hock.
And so what stupid-looking car are we now supposed to mock?
The Big Three losing money, fighting to survive,
But what now are cat owners and frumpy moms going to drive?
Woodpanel trim and modern feminist styling,
Why was it ever made, oh so beguiling!
On the roadways yet for years, the Cruiser will roll on,
And how fitting that is for the cousin of Dodge Neon.
They ask for a bailout and say “how are we in this morass?”
I say “find the guy who designed the Cruiser, and fire his ass.”
Oh, but to find a light in our current national misery!
How about the erasure of a blot on automotive history?