Christian Sings the Blues

This is Christian.

Christian is a very successful porn actor, who for about the past year has been logging his day-to-day activities on his site www.christiansingstheblues.com in excruciating detail. It’s a fantastic read on most days.  Christian covers his workouts, his meals, his World of Warcraft sessions, and, of course, his professional engagements, all enhanced with scores of insightful photographs.  No detail is spared.  It is usually well written and sometimes insightful.  He has no visible agenda or motive for writing the thing, and if you don’t like what he writes, or think you’re too sophisticated to read about the daily happenings of a pornographic film star, then go back to doing other things with your life and revel in your own decency.

It certainly is hard to think of questions for someone who baldly lays his day-to-day emotions, thoughts, and feelings out for thousands of readers out there with any prodding already, but after reading the blog for long enough, I thought “what the hell, eh?” -PM

First off, I love the blog.  I really do.  But I wanted to know if you’re aware of how awkward it is to try and explain to your friends why you read the blog of a literate, intelligent, chiseled Texan workout buff who spends summer days nerding out in front of World of Warcraft, and who, in addition, is a gourmand porno actor that doesn’t mind getting plowed by chicks with a strap-on and raises hedgehogs?  People look at me funny when I bring it up, it’s weird.

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How much do you think your blog has raised your profile?  Like, do you get recognized a lot in public?  Hell, you were featured on PTI (sort of).  Have you ever been in a situation where people obviously recognize you and are whispering about you but won’t approach you?  What’s the strangest fan interaction you’ve ever had?

NO I DON’T THINK SO, IT’S POPULAR, BUT NOT THAT MUCH.  I THINK I HAVE BEEN RECOGNIZED ONCE IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS, AND IT WAS AS I WAS ABOUT TO PICK UP ANNINA, THE GERMAN PORN STAR WITH THE HUGE BOOBS.   I HAVEN’T HAD ANY REALLY STRANGE FAN INTERACTION, JUST THE USUAL ONES.

Why is your stage name so lamely ordinary?  I mean, no “rock” or “hard” or “stone” in there. How’d you come up with it?  Do non-industry dudes come up to you and try to ask you what you think of the porn names they thought up for themselves, while you find yourself just groaning, like “who the hell are these idiots and why are the hell are they asking me these things?”

I AM LAZY REALLY, I DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE A FAKE NAME TO TRY TO REMEMBER TO TURN AROUND WHEN SOMEONE CALLED OUT “RUSSELL LOCKSTONE” OR SOMETHING RETARDED LIKE THAT.  OF COURSE, EVERYONE HAS A PORN NAME FOR THEMSELVES ALL READY TO GO, MY FAVORITE IS  “JERK WILLIAMS” – I LOVE THAT ONE FOR SOME REASON

As a follow-up, what do you think, hypothetically, of “Russell Sagamore?”

IT’S OKAY, BUT EVERYONE WILL BE TRYING TO FIGURE WHAT THE FUCK SAGAMORE MEANS……LOL

What is a grown man doing keeping hedgehogs as pets and why do you drive a Honda?*  I’m all for letting people do whatever the fuck they want to, but large ripped bald men are generally the kind you expect to be strolling around with big pit bulls on spiked chain leashes, driving them around in the front seat of a black Camero or pickup truck.

AGAIN, I AM GETTING LAID NO MATTER WHAT THE FUCK I DRIVE, SO WHY DRIVE AN EXPENSIVE, GAS GUZZLING, LAME ASS CAR THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BUSINESS DRIVES?  AND REMEMBER FLOWER TUCCI AND ROXY DEVILLE HAVE THE SAME CAR! AGAIN, WHY GET A DOG OR A CAT LIKE EVERY OTHER DOUCHEBAG OUT THERE?  A HEDGEHOG HAS A STORY MAN, A STORY!

Christian With Mason Moore

Christian With Mason Moore

Does every actress you work with immediately go out for a cigarette when you’re done, or do the photos on your blog just make it look that way?  Also: are they all just constantly high?

YES AND YES

Obama or McCain?  I suspect people in your line of work have an interest in whomever gets put at the helm of the Justice Department, no?  Do any porno business people give a fuck at all?

NOT TELLING……AND YES, ALL PORNO PEOPLE WANT OBAMA DESPERATELY TO WIN (ed. note- Christ, what have we done?  This will be in a McCain ad by the end of the week.  Fuck.)

My friend Frank wants to know why you seem so fond of fake tits.  He thinks it’s incongruous on a metaphorical level with your well-professed distaste of phonies and dishonest people.

I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY, BUT I LOVE EM’…THE BIGGER THE BETTER.  I MEAN, I LOVE EM’

What, exactly, is a “pop pill?”

IT’S NOT A PILL, IT’S A COCKTAIL THAT MALE PERFORMERS TAKE IN ORDER TO INCREASE THE SIZE OF THEIR LOAD OR TO REGENERATE THEIR SPERM COUNT FASTER…..ZINC, CALCIUM, PROTEIN SHAKES, CELERY, SAW PALMETTO, AND TRIBULUS.

Christian With Some Non-Industry Types.

Christian With Some Non-Industry Types.

Your blog is pretty heavy on photos from your work sets.  Do any of your co-stars get really pissed off at this?  I know it might be a little different for women in your line of work, but if someone had just nutted all over my face and then started photographing me taking a birth control sponge out of my snatch, I might be a little put out.

ONLY A COUPLE OF GIRLS DON’T UNDERSTAND.  MOST GIRLS IN THE BUSINESS ARE ATTENTION WHORES AND LOVE GETTING THEIR PHOTOS TAKEN.  THE SPONGE THING IS A JOKE THAT I LIKE TO DO JUST TO GROSS OUT THE READERS…..WHAT CAN I SAY?

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen on a porno set?

THAT’S A TOUGH QUESTION, BECAUSE WHAT I VIEW AS PASSE, MOST PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY THINK WAS INSANELY STRANGE.

If you could change one thing about your career to this point, what would it be?

NOTHING, NOT A DAMN THING BRO.

Who will win the Premiere Cup next season?

YOU MEAN THE PREMIER LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP? OR THE FA CUP?

BECAUSE I THINK IT WILL BE CHELSEA AND CHELSEA

Pop Quiz on the honor system: Off the top of your head, what were the total sales of the American Adult Film Industry in 2006?

DON’T KNOW, DON’T CARE……PROBABLY A LOT OF ZEROS THOUGH. (ed. note- A: 13.3 billion in the U.S.  97 billion worldwide.)

If you could make everyone in the pornography business read one book, what would it be?

THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE…..NO, PROBABLY THE OTHER HOLLYWOOD BY LEGS MCNEIL, I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THE HISTORY ABOUT THEIR PROFESSION

Do you, or have you, always been forthright about your career choice with civilian chicks you’re about to bed?  Or, if they don’t ask and you’re about to get them in the sack are you just smugly thinking in your head, “woman, you have no idea what you’re getting into right here, I am just going to crush you”?

YES, AND I DON’T GIVE THEM THE CHANCE NOT TO ASK, I TELL THEM FIRST.  HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.  MOST CIVILIANS THAT I KNOW ARE CHICKS THAT UNDERSTAND THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF SEX AND SOME DINNERS……LOL

AND I DON’T CRUSH CIVILIANS, I LIKE TO ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE OFF CAMERA…..PLUS I HAVE A GREAT BED

Christian With the bass player from System of a Down

Christian With the bass player from System of a Down

What’s the best interview question you’ve never been asked?

GOOD QUESTION, PROBABLY SOMETHING ACADEMIC, LIKE A HISTORY QUESTION…..

How would you answer that?

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Parting comments/wisdom/thoughts?

I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY LIFE.  I MADE A DECISION TO ENTER THIS BUSINESS AND I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED THAT DECISION AS IT HAS LED TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL THE WORLD.  I APPRECIATE EVERYONE WHO READS MY LITTLE BLOG, AND HOPE THEY ENJOY THE READ.  ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANYTHING!

* For the record, I love Hondas.  Those folks make quality automobiles.  I’ve never met a hedgehog.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Christian Sings the Blues

  1. Chunga

    Gotta lay off the all caps bro….

  2. Amanda

    Christian is just the hottest thing ever. I have a bunch of girlfriends who all adore him, too.

  3. cecil

    i like christian and i think he is so gorgeous and talented but as a gay man i find his blog a little troubling since i would rather see shirtless or clothless fotos of him…not his girls

  4. Raiana Belarmino Da Silva

    you are a cat outside you connected anything I add

  5. Raiana Belarmino Da Silva

    you is the man that any woman would have.

  6. Christian seems like a cool dude, down to earth and has his own hobbies and life outside of porn. Also gotta love a guy that drives a Honda and doesn’t give a shit about looking cool and worrying about what anyone thinks. Good blog too!

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