Date: 24 August 2004 01:32:51 EDT
Dear Mister Mobutu,
Warm Greetings! Clearly your instincts are good—I can tell this because something drew you to me. However, I warn you, take care in communicating with me, especially electronically. You risk that someone may intercept one of our correspondences and jeopardize our safety and collective fortunes. please look at and follow closely the plan outlined below. It is designed to ensure our privacy, security and financial interests above all!
Firstly, please provide me with your address. This is important if we are to communicate without the prying eyes of the email providers. Your request to be contacted by phone or email is foolhardy—these channels are insecure at best. If you, like me, were a man of title and privilege your ring would have a family crest to mark the wax seal of any letter sent and alert the recipient if it had been opened or not.
Then a package containing a postage-paid mailer addressed to me, will arrive at your hut. In that mailer you will enclose 2000XOF—this is not only a token of good faith on your part; it will finally settle a longstanding, yet sporting, dispute between another chap, the Count, and me. The Count holds court in France and insists your “country” has no sovereignty and is, in fact, not only part of France, but part of the very colony The Count himself enlightens by ruling so nobly! I have wagered 6000USD that Burkina Faso is not part of France, much less His Realm. You must enclose 2000XOF in bank notes, which will prove Burkina Faso’s sovereignty, as your Francs are not the ones The Count prints in France. For your efforts and assistance, you are entitled to half the winnings on my wager. You stand to make 2995USD (I have accounted for the value of the 2000XOF you will send me).
I will send you cash or arrange an account for your share of the winnings, and then use my half of the winnings (the other $3000) to pay The Accountant and The Treasurer to facilitate the asset transfer (he is honorable and trustworthy, you have my sacred vow). I am pleased to work with you, as you seem a gentleman of character. Let us not delay for the sooner you respond, the sooner we shall have our just desert.
You were wise to contact me as i have multiple accounts in Grand Cayman, Panama, Switzerland and a small farm on the isle of Jersey. This will help us keep the financial transactions from attracting too much attention. At this time I trust you will contact any other potential partners for this deal and inform them their services are not needed. Thank you again for your generous offer. I await your reply. May Zeus bless a pox upon you.
Rt. Hon. Caleb R. Oberst Esq., CMG
p.s. I hope you understand that in the process of transferring the funds you describe, a small percentage (less than 2%) will most likely be lost due to currency exchanges and the volatility of the currency market. this is unfortunately necessary. (Rt. Hon. C.R.O., Esq. CMG)