Sarah Palin’s $150,000 Wardrobe Review

So the Republican Party went out and bought $150,000 worth of clothing for VP nominee Sarah Palin, eh?  Who really cares at this point?  The GOP is cooked, destined for another 16 years of minority rule and bitching from the shadows about them damn democrats.  When the major news networks tick off PA Blue on Nov. 4th, you can fairly well pop the champagne, and no one will give a good god damn about $150,000 that was spent to make this fucking muppet look more fashionable.  Nonetheless, we felt bound to take a harder look at where all that money was sunk:

Sassy Storm Trooper Commandant

We like to call this little number the “Sassy Storm Trooper Commandant,” for when you want a little extra flare, a little extra pizazz, during your annual review of the shock troops.  Est. cost= $3,200

Hoe-down Storm Trooper Commandant

This is a good number to throw on when you’ve got another storm trooper review to conduct that day, but feel like you might like to hit the line dancing floor to dance some jigs with the fellas and some cold Budweiser after work.  Here, Sarah loosens her hips before blowing off work.  Est cost: $2,400

Sarah Palin as Our Overlord

This is the look of someone who would try to ban books from your local library or outlaw gum chewing in your local town or run a dominatrix dungeon in a neighborhood basement.  It’s certainly lacking something though, like maybe a ray gun, or radiation shield.  Est. Cost= 20,000 Spacebucks

Sarah Palin, Honoring The Grizzly Bear

When the day comes to honor your state’s wonderful natural heritage and wildlife, what better outfit than a nifty little zip-up and miniskirt?  This ensemble just screams: I love nature. Est. Cost= N/A

Sarah Palin... resting her ass on the grizzly bear

Um… or not.

Patriotic Kool-Aid Cupcake Mom

This pre-VP nomination assault on our collective sensibilities just proves what you all are afraid to admit:  The RNC needed to buy this low-key, humble, and hard-working American hockey mom $150,000 worth of designer clothing.  She looks like a damn fruit drink here. Est. Cost: $50 from bake sale proceeds.